Violent Thunderstorm Today...

Isn't it nice that toilets keep working during a power failure? 

Well, it has been fun ...

I'm going to stop providing the (almost) daily fortune cookies. One per week, perhaps. Stay tuned.

Why doesn't our country support lots more public transportation?

Perhaps the problem is that public transportation is usually a miserable experience.

July is National Pickle month:

Try to get into a pickle this month, and then ... try to get out again.

It isn't the heat:

It isn't the heat. It's the GodAwful heat.

Watching yourself, when there's time...

If you videotaped (or audiotaped) your entire life, when would you have time to play it back? {Please excuse the obsolete word, "tape".}

Look through...

A "Chinese Wall" is a wall that has no walls.

This fortune cookie isn't true:

In the morning, radio stations that play classical music should mostly play Baroque composers (Bach, Telemann, Handletcetera ...)

That's not true! Why do so many radio stations think it IS true?

With yourself or with another...

Make someone happy today.

What else in life could we mess up?

It's probably a good thing that there is no Supreme Court in Art.

Cheer up!

Don't let the news from Facebook get you down.

Blood runs downhill, but ...

Consanguinity does not demonstrate causation.

MultitaskingMuktilitsking....

If Multitasking is a task, then we should endeavor to do several multitaskings at once. 

Look up!

Tomorrow will be a good day to catch a meteorite.

On Average?

Statistical averages mean very little to
you;
or me;
or anyone.

Respectable Gluttony:

It's okay to have too much of a good thing in moderation.

Thank Goodness for New Technology:

At last the technology exists (and is installed everywhere in England!) to auto-record and give people tickets for swearing in public. Not gonna happen, though. I hope.

Time Travel?

It would be nice to hear the echo before you shout "HELLO..."

Can it be that bad?

When life gets you down, count your cursings.

Trust me?

The best way to lie is to tell a truth.

Absence...

Absence makes the heart go ponder.

Another Application of Murphy's Law...

The dumpster that is trucked in for a specific job is usually too small.

Buy Gadgets!

A gadget is a good thing to put your money into, until you have time to throw it away.

I'm (always) in a hurry?

Do you tend to rush around, even to complete the smallest indoor tasks? Try to imagine what that habit will look like to others, when you are seventy-five.

Diet?

It's hard to lose weight if you like food.
                       - Rob Lessor

Is it ever time to relax...

Youngsters don’t know their own strengths; oldsters don’t know their own weaknesses.

I think, therefore I evolve.

If we humans couldn't think, we might evolve faster.

Exercise Daily...

In your lifetime, try to see as many leaves as possible.

Are you a little short ...

I prefer to own a pet that can lend me cash when I need it.

Ghost Couture...

Ghosts do not wear fitted sheets.

I really like your...

On the Internet, there are just enough people who don't know you're a Bot. 

Point of View...

Have you ever considered the possibility that all of the water in the world is upside down?

Look, down there: it's a pill...

Flashlights complement the eye; more so as we age.

Signs, signs, signs...

There are too many signs on the road, and too few in your home.

What did they do before Calendars?

Right now, if I didn't have a calendar, I would know it was Summer. (May 29, 2012, during a hot streak.)

Whoosh...

The aural experiences of tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis and earthquakes are quite different, but it would be inadvisable to try to gain the experience needed to distinguish their sounds.

Of course, you have to pay...

The finest parking garages lie beneath mountains that were hollowed out by gnomes.

On very rare nights...

On very rare night, it's possible to see a rainbow around the moon. You won't see much color, though.

10%? 20, 30, 40, 60, 90...

Despite what you may have heard, you're using nearly all of your brain.

Tempus does Fugit...

When you realize you've been wasting your time, start un-wasting it. How else will you catch up?

Forget underwater...

Would it be good if we could breathe with our ears?

(Slosh)...

How much better or worse would it be, if we could use our coffee cup as a computer mouse?

Saving Precious Tabletop Space:

How much better or worse would it be if we could use a full cup of coffee as a computer mouse?

Light. Bright. Sigh ...

On that rare, beautiful day, stay in bed and pull the covers over your head.

Don't be Selfish (or Shellfish)...

Be generous. Be Sui Generis.

Aging:

The secret to growing happily old is to have a good relationship with your physical therapist.

You already knew that H.A. >> H. But...

The number of rats is greater than the number of horses' asses.

East Side, West Side...

You can read this blog in any direction. Or can you?

A change of Scenery?

Most people do not have enough doors.

Common Sense:

You can rely on Common Sense for every decision you ever have to make. But if you do, may God have mercy on your soul.

Nice Day?

You can say ”Have a nice day” to anyone, as long as you really, truly, mean it

Do ...

Do unto others. Just don't undo unto yourself.

Don't forget all those hours in bed...

Have you spent more of your life barefoot, or in shoes? 

Today, you'll have to choose one:

Here are your alternatives for today:
+ Inside out
Or:
+ Outside In.

You could make a fortune...

You could make a fortune by inventing a gadget that auto-folds fitted sheets.

You know you want it ...

Click here to read the rest of your life.

When you open a soda and it sprays and bubbles all over...

You may ask yourself why, why, they put one more bubble of fizz in a soda than necessary.

Sweeping Fields of ...

There aren't enough advertisements on flowers.

Steady, steady...

Grab Bars should be everywhere.

It's so white (usually)...

Why isn't snow more useful?

Not in Line for the Throne...

If Lady Gaga were English, she might be Duchess Gaga by now.

You'd Hardly Notice:

When you step out of the shower, how many ounces of water cling to your skin?

Eyes, Ears:

You can easily close your eyes, but think how hard it is to close your ears.

The Old Times were hard...

What did we do before they discovered Black Holes?

Ow!

If you're lacking excitement, try walking around with your eyes closed.

A good eye:

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and a smile for a smile.

Please agree...

Assents make the heart grow fonder.

Any Bird:

A bird in the bush is worth less than a good steak.

Troubles:

If you see nine troubles coming down the road, just wait for them to come closer. Chances are you'll see that they are more like fifteen troubles, maybe even thirty-five.

That Fool:

A fool and his money ... A fool and his money ... Oh, how I envy a fool his money.

The Well-protected fool:

A fool and his crash helmet are soon parted.