Cheer up!

Don't let the news from Facebook get you down.

Blood runs downhill, but ...

Consanguinity does not demonstrate causation.

MultitaskingMuktilitsking....

If Multitasking is a task, then we should endeavor to do several multitaskings at once. 

Look up!

Tomorrow will be a good day to catch a meteorite.

On Average?

Statistical averages mean very little to
you;
or me;
or anyone.

Respectable Gluttony:

It's okay to have too much of a good thing in moderation.

Thank Goodness for New Technology:

At last the technology exists (and is installed everywhere in England!) to auto-record and give people tickets for swearing in public. Not gonna happen, though. I hope.

Time Travel?

It would be nice to hear the echo before you shout "HELLO..."

Can it be that bad?

When life gets you down, count your cursings.

Trust me?

The best way to lie is to tell a truth.

Absence...

Absence makes the heart go ponder.

Another Application of Murphy's Law...

The dumpster that is trucked in for a specific job is usually too small.

Buy Gadgets!

A gadget is a good thing to put your money into, until you have time to throw it away.

I'm (always) in a hurry?

Do you tend to rush around, even to complete the smallest indoor tasks? Try to imagine what that habit will look like to others, when you are seventy-five.

Diet?

It's hard to lose weight if you like food.
                       - Rob Lessor

Is it ever time to relax...

Youngsters don’t know their own strengths; oldsters don’t know their own weaknesses.

I think, therefore I evolve.

If we humans couldn't think, we might evolve faster.

Exercise Daily...

In your lifetime, try to see as many leaves as possible.

Are you a little short ...

I prefer to own a pet that can lend me cash when I need it.

Ghost Couture...

Ghosts do not wear fitted sheets.

I really like your...

On the Internet, there are just enough people who don't know you're a Bot. 

Point of View...

Have you ever considered the possibility that all of the water in the world is upside down?

Look, down there: it's a pill...

Flashlights complement the eye; more so as we age.